{"id":368,"date":"2012-07-30T16:34:55","date_gmt":"2012-07-30T21:34:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/?p=368"},"modified":"2014-09-01T16:35:44","modified_gmt":"2014-09-01T21:35:44","slug":"sho-our-black-hmong-guide-and-friend-gets-married","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/?p=368","title":{"rendered":"Sho, Our Black Hmong Guide and Friend, Gets Married!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sho, Our Black Hmong Guide and Friend, Gets Married!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>

A beaming Antoine and glowing Sho enter their \u201cwhite dress wedding.\u201d<\/p><\/div>\n

Those of you who have been following our newsletters for a few years know of our friend Sho, a beautiful, intelligent, vivacious Black Hmong woman with an acute business sense who was our first guide in the Sapa, Vietnam region, and who has continued being a special friend (see Newsletter #6 for an introduction).\u00a0 This summer, the timing worked out just right for Ari, Zall and Maren to attend her two weddings in Vietnam to her French husband, Antoine, who works as a hotel manager in Sapa; the first wedding was a Black Hmong event held at her parent\u2019s house, and the second, a \u201cwhite-dress\u201d wedding at a nearby eco-lodge.<\/p>\n

\"Ari,<\/a>

Ari, Sho, Maren and Zall get a quick moment together for a pose.<\/p><\/div>\n

I need to preface with the comment that all of us have been \u201cin love\u201d with Sho since we first met her \u2013 she holds a special place in all of our \u201cboy\u2019s\u201d hearts.\u00a0 I have called her \u201cmy daughter\u201d, and have jokingly bemoaned the fact that Ari is 5 years younger and not old enough to marry her.\u00a0 As such, when the three of use first saw Sho and her daughter (born 2 months before the wedding!), huge hugs went all around.\u00a0 Just then, a man came out from a nearby coffee shop, and Sho introduced us \u2013 he was Antoine\u2019s father.\u00a0 I put my arm around Sho and told him she is my daughter.\u00a0 He put his arm around her and said, beaming with pride, \u201cNo, Sho is MY daughter!\u201d\u00a0 A better introduction could not be had.\u00a0 Having a father-in-law so pleased and happy with her relieved any of our anxieties about her acceptance into her new family.<\/p>\n

\"Sho<\/a>

Sho (left) and her sister, Thi. Both are excellent guides and translators.<\/p><\/div>\n

In reality, Sho and Antoine were already married.\u00a0 They had had the formal paperwork wedding in early April, before their daughter Alice was born.\u00a0 We were invited to attend the fun Vietnam weddings; a fourth wedding was later held in France with all of Antoine\u2019s extended family and European friends.<\/p>\n

The Hmong wedding held at Sho\u2019s parent\u2019s house with a group of about 100, included Sho\u2019s closest friends and family, Antoine\u2019s closest local friends, and Antoine\u2019s dad and brother who had flown in for the event.\u00a0 Many of the Hmong, as well as Antoine, were dressed in traditional Black Hmong clothing including a handspun, indigo-dyed cotton jacket – the women\u2019s jackets had silk-embroidered sleeves – and a handwoven, indigo-dyed hemp vest with a silk-embroidered collar.\u00a0 The traditional Hmong wedding includes eating vast quantities of delicious local food, drinking non-stop, and hoisting uncounted toasts to the family of the bride and to the bride and groom.\u00a0 Had Antoine been a traditional local Hmong man, he would have knelt in front of the bride\u2019s father; this step did not happen as Antoine had been accepted as family for some time.<\/p>\n

\"Sho<\/a>

Sho and her large, extended Black Hmong family.<\/p><\/div>\n

It was hot, hot, hot.\u00a0 Even high-elevation Sapa is hot in June.\u00a0 Everyone who could shed their hot local clothing, but Sho said she couldn\u2019t, as it was required of the bride.\u00a0 Throughout the meal and party, Sho nursed Alice, and handed her off to friends and family to hold.\u00a0 Even I got to hold her for a few minutes!\u00a0 As we would expect, Sho conducted the whole event \u2013 center of it all, in charge, and having a ball!\u00a0 Everyone toddled off in a happy state, including the three of us, who had to hire motorcycles to get us back to our hotel \u2013 the boys loved it!<\/p>\n

The next day was the \u201cwhite-dress wedding\u201d – more of a reception – at an upscale eco-lodge an hour drive from Sapa that offered a stunning hilltop setting overlooking a lush, terraced valley full of sun and flowers.\u00a0 Sho was resplendent in her western wedding dress, with constant photos opportunities.\u00a0 She would yell \u201cZall \u2013 hey Zall \u2013 take a picture!\u201d and he would go running to take more photos \u2013 over 1,000 that day alone!\u00a0 There were many more people at this event, about 300 total, including Hmong and Westerners, and a fabulous barbeque meal was shared.<\/p>\n

\"DSC_2371\"<\/a>Even though the Hmong and westerners knew each other, it was clear, watching their faces, that the Hmong were not used to the western ways of marriage, watching the celebrations from a slight distance and with questioning looks, not knowing quite what to expect next.\u00a0 Most of the Hmong wore their traditional clothes, except for the young lady friends of Sho\u2019s who wore shimmery outfits in silk, cut to western styles.\u00a0 Sho danced with Antoine, her father-in-law, and Ari \u2013 the only ones so privileged!\u00a0 We knew many of the local people, having met them in the market or because of our \u201cAbove the Fray\u201d interests; of course, we know many of Sho\u2019s friends and family from our years of visiting.<\/p>\n

\"A<\/a>

A beautiful setting for a formal wedding, high in the north Vietnamese hills. The French developed the area as an escape from the lowland’s heat.<\/p><\/div>\n

One of the young Hmong men, dressed in western garb, talked with me a bit, calling me \u201cma\u201d.\u00a0 I asked him why everyone had been calling me \u201cma\u201d (yes, it means mom, just like it looks), and he said that it was what Sho always calls me \u2013 her second mom.\u00a0 Boy did that make me feel special! \u00a0 It is true, I was the only western woman present at either wedding (her mother- and sister-in-law were at home preparing the wedding in France).\u00a0 All of the western men living in Sapa had Hmong girlfriends or wives, and there are no western women, it appears, who have made Sapa their homes.<\/p>\n

Ari had to leave this wedding early to travel, for the first time alone, on to Vientiane, Laos, to start his internship with MAG (see his article in this newsletter).\u00a0 Zall and I stayed on and Ti, Sho\u2019s sister, became our guide for a 5-day exploration of some new parts of NW Vietnam, including Son La Province.\u00a0 Ti\u2019s husband Trang, the maker of the beautiful traditional Hmong jewelry we sell, came with us \u2013 his first time ever riding in a car!\u00a0 What a treat to be able to take him with us and share our trip!\u00a0 Sho, despite being on a honeymoon of sorts, called Ti daily to make sure everything was well \u2013 she obviously didn\u2019t like the idea of relinquishing her shopping and guiding relationship with us!\u00a0 Needless to say, Ti was fabulous, and we discovered an array of new treasures we will share at our fall events (along with some new earring styles from Trang).<\/p>\n

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Sho, Our Black Hmong Guide and Friend, Gets Married! Those of you who have been following our newsletters for a few years know of our friend Sho, a beautiful, intelligent, vivacious Black Hmong woman with an acute business sense who … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=368"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":630,"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/368\/revisions\/630"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/hilltribeart.com\/wordpress\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}